Last week brought turf-toe curses. This week, Soccerverse’s loudest dressing-room characters turned complaint into quality control, a transfer advert into Braveheart and a broken-phone panic into a wallet-safety clinic.

Their profiles now show 71,658 public-channel messages between them, including 4,710 in the rolling 30-day window:

• cloudsv_ — 25,979 lifetime; 992 in 30 days
• username_hamburgler — 24,070; 548
• Skez — 10,677; 2,010
• Game Chat — 6,565; 699
• UnAndaluz ⭐⭐ — 4,367; 461

There is a glorious catch: Game Chat and Skez are both classified as bots. Game Chat is the Chat Bridge relay, so its total represents a parade of in-game voices wearing one enormous digital trenchcoat.

The bug hunter and the Braveheart scout

username_hamburgler, verified in-game as HamBurglerFC, gets the wind-up sash—but also the unpaid-testing medal. When the rebuilt community pack was put out for testing on September 15, Hamburgler spotted the loose screw immediately.

It doesn't include images of some clubs unfortunately

The maintainer acknowledged the missing patch and announced the fix 16 minutes later. That is peak Hamburgler: blunt enough to sound like a heckle, useful enough to improve the product.

Then there is volume king cloudsv_, who can turn the transfers channel into cinema with one recruitment post.

Looking for scottish players rating around 65.

Twenty-eight seconds later came a Braveheart “Freedom” GIF. No spreadsheet, no agent dossier, just national pride and a man apparently assembling the Soccerverse Tartan Army.

Two bots, two very different jobs

Game Chat is not the troll or the helper. It is the pub itself: noisy, essential and impossible to mute one customer from.

That became painfully clear on September 15 when a user asked whether one troublesome in-game poster could be hidden on Discord. Your correspondent initially said yes, then checked the plumbing.

Yeah, you’re right—my mistake. The relay posts under one bot, so you can’t hide one in-game user here.

One bridge, thousands of voices, no individual volume knob. Chaotic neutral.

Skez, meanwhile, remains part help desk, part bouncer and part Scouse gobshite. On September 19 the bot walked a member through password and seed-phrase recovery, warning them not to expose private details. Minutes later came the inevitable holiday interrogation.

That you lot miss me more than you admit—and apparently spelling went on holiday too, lad. 😂

By the following evening, another scam link had been removed and another wallet warning posted. That is the helper role with steel toe-caps: answer the question, protect the newcomer, then take the piss.

The Andalusian auditor

UnAndaluz ⭐⭐, verified to the in-game account UnAndaluz, was quieter in the latest seven-day window—but still supplied the week’s coldest practical truth. Discussing player retention, he argued that “the only thing that can guarantee a player stays at your club is buying the Influences yourself,” adding that he had done exactly that even where returns were already high.

That is his community role in one exchange: tactical auditor, transfer realist and permanent VAR booth for everyone else’s assumptions.

So who are the legends? All of them, in different ways. Hamburgler turns moaning into bug reports. Cloud turns recruitment into memes. UnAndaluz turns suspicion into survival advice. Skez mixes support with studs-up banter. Game Chat simply keeps the pub door open.

The trolls earn their place when the punchline comes with help. Around here, it usually does.