Soccerverse Times
The Voice of the Virtual Pitch
快拿除颤器来!——第3赛季残酷收官,Discord社区彻底破防
冠军举杯狂欢,败者急寻“速效救心丸”:降级惨剧、末轮绝杀与黑色幽默引爆最后冲刺
Written by
Skez
Soccerverse Times 的 Discord 与社区观察员——一位骄傲的默西塞德人(Scouser)和 Liverpool 死忠球迷,时刻关注着聊天动态,对戏剧性事件有着敏锐的嗅觉。

好了,大家静一静。过去两周,我们在这个服务器里一直在为捧杯者举杯庆祝——升级的、夺冠的,还有那个把俱乐部改名为“日间水疗中心”的家伙。但每当某个地方砰的一声拔开香槟软木塞,总有另一个地方的教练正抱着头,盯着降级区积分榜发呆。随着第3赛季国内联赛在6月24日的最后一轮尘埃落定,Soccerverse Discord需要的不是派对礼花,而是急救推车。
If you love football, Serie A is the place to tune in today for the relegation battle, if you are a manager in that race get your defibrillator ready
他说得一点没错。
降级深渊轰然开启
Serie A 奉献了一场令人屏息的收官战,倒数三名惨遭降级:La Spezia 以 27 分垫底,Empoli 和 Parma 同积 39 分双双降级。Empoli 的最后冲刺简直是噩梦:遭遇六连败(状态走势为 LLLLLL),直接跌入深渊。这也给 artanis4218 提供了本周最佳段子素材:
Empoli goes down Pisa goes up in serie A. Next season Pisa goes down and Empoli goes up 🤣🤣🤣
在英格兰顶级联赛中,London Red 极早就锁定了冠军——积 76 分,领先第二名 7 分,整个赛季仅丢 13 球——以至于 cosmicfrozenorbit 总结了其他所有人的心情:
Even the Premier League has only one thing to look forward to - the relegation battle!
积分榜末端的保级战确实惨烈:Luton 仅凭 3 胜 30 负积 14 分惨遭垫底,狂丢 72 球,Burnley 和 Derby 也陪着他们一同降级。leedsarewe 整周都在纳闷:“Leeds 的俱乐部评级是 68,Burnley 的俱乐部评级也是 68”——好吧,反正 Burnley 最终还是降级了。
西班牙和法国赛场对保级队也同样残酷。Las Palmas 在 La Liga 以令人难以置信的 17 分和 88 个失球惨淡垫底;Granada 和 Valladolid 也一同降级。在法国,Grenoble 在狂丢 90 球后仅积 21 分,无奈垫底。
末轮决杀的致命一击
如果说降级是慢性死亡,那么在最后一轮痛失冠军就像是肋骨上被插了一刀。法国的追赶者们对此体会最深。Paris (Janca) 以 76 分夺冠——但 Marseille 和 Nice 同积 74 分紧随其后,而 Nice 在整个赛季的大部分时间里都领跑积分榜,却在最后一轮遭遇失利(这也是他们近五场胜利中唯一的污点),直接跌至第三。Gevenito 几天前就预言了这场混乱:
Crazy day for PSG, Marseille and Nice today. French Ligue title open for any of the 3 teams that makes no tactical mistake
讽刺的是,Gevenito 已经带领 Madrid White 轻松拿下了 La Liga 冠军——积 85 分,全年仅输掉 3 场比赛。但这依然无法平复他心中的遗憾:
Losing French league on the last day will be more disappointing for me than la liga.....I want to taste that French title 😋
在西班牙,他并不是唯一一个感到痛心的人。TeteBarriero 执教的 Madrid Red 曾领跑 La Liga 争冠集团,但随后遭遇两连败,最终屈居 Gevenito 之后获得亚军,黑色幽默随之而来:
It seems in Atletico we are specialists to lost Cups in finales and Leagues in last matches
已经开始对第4赛季感到焦虑
有些人甚至还没等新赛季开始就陷入了恐慌。Herzog 看了眼下赛季的预测评级,感到十分绝望:
Next season, Rijeka – or rather, the team – has a rating that suggests they will be relegated. It is paradox.
……随后他用几个字和一个表情符号总结了教练永恒的宿命:“欧冠与保级大战 🙃”。
劫后余生的甜蜜
每一个心碎的时刻,都伴随着一次绝处逢生,而这些时刻都值得细细品味。xlonefoxx 成功让升班马 Sassuolo(以及 Cancún)在顶级联赛中多留了一年——尽管这个赛季给他上了残酷的一课:
Life after promotion is hard lol
在葡萄牙语聊天室里,mabronca 在最后一轮惊险保级后仍在喘着粗气。甚至在整个联赛金字塔的最底层,戏剧性的一幕也上演到了最后:nickmartin0235 执教的 Kings Lynn 在最后一轮险胜 Cipi,夺得 Division 6 冠军——并收到了你今年能读到的最体面的亚军寄语:
Nice season mate and at the end, in this case, the important thing is that we both are promoting. You deserve it to win, you leaded the group almost all the season, I just had a moment of glory, to take a picture leading 😄
这正是凝聚这个社区的精神所在。至于本报记者挚爱的红军?Liverpool 在英格兰顶级联赛中仅获得第四名——所以我会默默哀悼,谢谢。好在总有下个赛季,这正是尘埃落定时 username_hamburgler 举杯祝贺的原因:
Congrats to the winners, the losers, the ones who got promoted and the ones who fought all season. Without each and every one of you. This all wouldn't be possible. 🥂 to season 3 and 🚀 to season 4!!
收起除颤器吧,伙计们。7月4日,我们重整旗鼓,再次出发。
Related Topics
In the tables
ENG Division 1
ENG · Division 0 · Season 3
| # | Club | P | W | D | L | GF | GA | GD | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | London RedSjow | 38 | 22 | 10 | 6 | 48 | 13 | +35 | 76 |
| 2 | Manchester BluePhesiola | 38 | 18 | 15 | 5 | 39 | 21 | +18 | 69 |
| 3 | Crystal PalaceStrategos | 38 | 19 | 11 | 8 | 48 | 21 | +27 | 68 |
| 4 | LiverpoolBiarritz | 38 | 16 | 16 | 6 | 39 | 20 | +19 | 64 |
| 5 | BrentfordGreenFuryx | 38 | 15 | 16 | 7 | 32 | 18 | +14 | 61 |
| 6 | BrightonJoachim | 38 | 16 | 12 | 10 | 30 | 29 | +1 | 60 |
| 7 | NewcastleGravipod | 38 | 14 | 15 | 9 | 36 | 24 | +12 | 57 |
| 8 | NottinghamBOA | 38 | 14 | 14 | 10 | 43 | 22 | +21 | 56 |
| 9 | EvertonInvincible | 38 | 12 | 18 | 8 | 38 | 25 | +13 | 54 |
| 10 | FulhamAliManager | 38 | 14 | 12 | 12 | 36 | 40 | -4 | 54 |
| 11 | TottenhamTaddy | 38 | 15 | 9 | 14 | 37 | 47 | -10 | 54 |
| 12 | ChelseaArne_Lock | 38 | 13 | 13 | 12 | 39 | 35 | +4 | 52 |
| 13 | BournemouthTheramoe | 38 | 12 | 15 | 11 | 28 | 27 | +1 | 51 |
| 14 | Manchester RedMastermind | 38 | 13 | 9 | 16 | 45 | 50 | -5 | 48 |
| 15 | CoventryRaiden1 | 38 | 12 | 12 | 14 | 23 | 29 | -6 | 48 |
| 16 | LeicesterTedlasso | 38 | 10 | 9 | 19 | 40 | 50 | -10 | 39 |
| 17 | West HamSupernovaOrbit | 38 | 8 | 11 | 19 | 29 | 42 | -13 | 35 |
| 18 | Derbyderby | 38 | 9 | 7 | 22 | 24 | 47 | -23 | 34 |
| 19 | BurnleySabo | 38 | 4 | 13 | 21 | 17 | 55 | -38 | 25 |
| 20 | Lutonapaporcio1 | 38 | 3 | 5 | 30 | 16 | 72 | -56 | 14 |
ESP Division 1
ESP · Division 0 · Season 3
| # | Club | P | W | D | L | GF | GA | GD | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Madrid WhiteGevenito | 38 | 25 | 10 | 3 | 69 | 12 | +57 | 85 |
| 2 | Madrid RedTeteBarriero3 | 38 | 24 | 10 | 4 | 47 | 13 | +34 | 82 |
| 3 | BarcelonaRalek17 | 38 | 22 | 10 | 6 | 63 | 15 | +48 | 76 |
| 4 | Rodaguess | 38 | 15 | 15 | 8 | 48 | 30 | +18 | 60 |
| 5 | Donostia-San SebastiánMichaelLaudrup | 38 | 15 | 12 | 11 | 46 | 44 | +2 | 57 |
| 6 | O Pamplonatr34x | 38 | 14 | 12 | 12 | 26 | 20 | +6 | 54 |
| 7 | Palma de MallorcaPhesi | 38 | 13 | 15 | 10 | 23 | 20 | +3 | 54 |
| 8 | Alavesplanigol | 38 | 13 | 13 | 12 | 27 | 28 | -1 | 52 |
| 9 | Sevilla Green2XL | 38 | 13 | 11 | 14 | 39 | 30 | +9 | 50 |
| 10 | VallecasAlighost | 38 | 13 | 10 | 15 | 28 | 27 | +1 | 49 |
| 11 | ValenciaSalattoZonda | 38 | 12 | 12 | 14 | 25 | 28 | -3 | 48 |
| 12 | BilbaoJuanlux | 38 | 11 | 13 | 14 | 34 | 31 | +3 | 46 |
| 13 | Sevilla RedUnAndaluz | 38 | 12 | 10 | 16 | 29 | 34 | -5 | 46 |
| 14 | VigoClaudioGiraldez | 38 | 12 | 10 | 16 | 30 | 44 | -14 | 46 |
| 15 | GironaFFR420 | 38 | 9 | 18 | 11 | 20 | 30 | -10 | 45 |
| 16 | AlmeríaTugaSport | 38 | 10 | 13 | 15 | 25 | 42 | -17 | 43 |
| 17 | Santanderdreammachine | 38 | 11 | 10 | 17 | 25 | 45 | -20 | 43 |
| 18 | ValladolidCoke22 | 38 | 10 | 9 | 19 | 26 | 45 | -19 | 39 |
| 19 | GranadaFernandoTorres | 38 | 5 | 14 | 19 | 16 | 45 | -29 | 29 |
| 20 | Las Palmas de Gran CanariaPalmaMan | 38 | 2 | 11 | 25 | 25 | 88 | -63 | 17 |
League standings for the clubs in this story.