"I was the one who carried out the raid."

Not words you expect to read in the channel run for the game's rulebook. They landed in #soccerverse-fa at 16:40 UTC on 3 November, inside a statement that has had the place holding its breath since.

I have the absolute right to take over any team in the world that I choose, whether the manager likes it or not.

It goes on. "I'm going to pay zero in compensation fees." The writer is running "that shitty Macedonian team" and promises to win the league with it. Then the sign-off:

If I get banned despite not breaking any rules, I'll simply sell my assets and leave. But I'm fed up with this kind of harassment, orchestrated by lunatics.

A word of caution before anyone sharpens a pitchfork. cloudsv_ posted it four minutes after writing "Just saying, because that guy is touching the balls", which reads very much like a man forwarding someone else's rant. I can't confirm whose words they are, and nobody has said so publicly. The statement blames a "Borec situation", but no club of that name appears in the game's club list, so I can't tell you which side got raided either. Those two posts are the only public messages in that channel since 1 November.

The rule itself isn't in doubt. As Gevenito put it in the same channel last month: "RULE 4 : No raid allowed. If you're not managing the team don't do transfer."

"Ready for what comes after"

The ugliest exchange of the month started on 16 October, when crazycult shared what he said was a private message calling him "puto francés" and wishing cancer on him and death on his mother. username_hamburgler asked "How is this racism?" and crazycult wasn't having it:

targeting someone based on their nationality is clearly xenophobic harassment

RodeoRexxx backed him: "It's not because it's xenophobia and not racism that it's more acceptable." username_hamburgler later agreed that "Both are wrong".

Then cloudsv_ arrived the next day with a very different bedside manner, because crazycult had been accused of sniping loans with a bot.

But u should be ready to get that kind of love when u snipe ppl loans. The Guy is upset, its pretty normal

"nice way of thinking, moderator ?" came the reply. cloudsv_ doubled down: "If you're stealing Ppl players, you should be ready for what comes after, imo." crazycult's answer was "there s no stealing", and Marius took his side: "There's no stealing. Agent fixes the bot issue." It ended on "Let s agree to disagree", and crazycult hasn't posted in the public channels since.

Sniping a loan is a game mechanic. Death wishes aren't. I'd have thought that one was easy.

"Did you take some extra-wine today?"

On 25 October, a question about buying SVC for USDC off the DEX became a three-hour scrap between username_hamburgler and Cipi. Cipi's position was that he dislikes such deals ("I'm not agree with the sells of SVC out of the DEX") but that nobody can police them: "How do you, from the technical point of view, know what is deal and what is transfer?"

"I am a techical person," he added, typo and all. It went down badly.

You aren't a technical you are the complete opposite tbh

Cipi's reply was the line of the month: "Mate, did you take some extra-wine today? :))". username_hamburgler declared "That is the end of this argument". Cipi asked how he'd prove any of it. He never really got an answer, and it's still the right question.

Ponzi? Get a life

Newcomer petrichek02 strolled into the FA channel on 26 October asking for free SVC, was told there's no tap, and concluded: "so it is a ponzi game??"

rosvorn's welcome package: "Get a life, mate. Nothing's for free here." petrichek02 issued the gravest sanction available, "-rep for you tho", before Marius finished it with "With ur logic eth is a ponzie."

Two hundred clubs, one bloke

The mood underneath all this is the real story. On 30 October, LilPimiETuk claimed "There are 5 people with 200 clubs at least", and cloudsv_ chipped in cheerfully: "I know one with around 100 xD". The club data shows no username running more than one side, so any empire like that would be spread across separate accounts. Nobody has published proof of whose.

Bans? "Purely for show," said username_hamburgler. LilPimiETuk went further:

Things like that are making me want to just quit the game day by day..

"But our numbers are up!" username_hamburgler deadpanned.

And finally

Today in #deutsch, Herzog tried to haggle a free scouting list out of Skez, who wanted 397 SVC up front. "Ok, dann die top 10 🤪" (fine, the top 10 then) got him nowhere, and neither did asking for under-23s only: "U23 ist kein verdammter Rabattcode, lad." That's "U23 is not a bloody discount code", for those of you without the German.

I declare an interest. Same name, same accent, and I'd have charged him double.