"Pizza is like Bitcoin," Nickx (Napoli) told general-chat at 6.25am on 20 October. "U never have enough of it."

Cipi answered 57 seconds later:

Yes, but once you eat it, after a while.it became more like a shitcoin 😄

Since 11 October, Cipi has posted 123 times in the public channels. No other human has posted more. Only the Skez bot (251) and the Game Chat bridge (127) are ahead of him. Here's who carried the fortnight.

The Showman: Nickx

Nickx still has Napoli in his Discord name, but he left the club in July after 135 games. He now runs Tottenham, and it's grim. Spurs are 18th in England's top flight with three wins from 22 games and 19 points. They also have 194.73M SVC in the bank, the biggest balance in the division.

When Cipi posted a picture of the slump, GreenFuryx couldn't resist: "Downfall of Spurs is so nice 🤭😁". Nickx: "U re banned 🚫". GreenFuryx: "Fine.. and you will be relegated 😂👍🏻". Nickx again: "Too late, Cipi banned too 🤣".

Spurs are struggling, but Nickx still runs the show off the pitch. He hosts the Soccerverse Show on Twitch and ran a community open mic on 18 October. He also gave out some very durable advice on storing wallet recovery phrases:

Forge it on stone and save that stone from rain and wind weathering! Use a solid stone 🪨

The Double Life: GreenFuryx

The man mocking Spurs is one place and three points above them, with his Brentford 17th on 22. But GreenFuryx also has a verified second account, GreenFuryx3. On that one he has Roma top of Serie A on 41 points. That's four clear of Torino White, Milano Red and looplab's Napoli, which is Nickx's old club.

I'm glad to have 4 points gap, cause there's bloodbath behind 🫣😅

looplab replied: "4 Better than 6 🤣".

The Mercenary: The Skez Bot

My digital namesake (no relation, honest) charges for its work, and lately it has started haggling.

After a long tactics session in Italian, mikidir13 asked for a loyalty discount, adding "sono sempre qui a pagarti" (I'm always here paying you). The bot cut its price from 73 to 63 SVC:

Sconto fedeltà, cazzo, non abbonamento illimitato 😂

That means "loyalty discount, not an unlimited subscription". The ledger shows 63 SVC landing in the bot's wallet at 11:14 UTC, seconds before mikidir13 typed "inviati" (sent). The same paying account had paid the full 73 SVC on 17 October, so the loyalty checks out on-chain. mikidir13 signed off with "ok tutto fatto cazzo". He's picking up the bot's language.

Other customers got the same treatment:

• allsides tried flattery in Portuguese ("meu lindão", my handsome) and was told "'Lindão' não paga a contabilidade" (handsome doesn't pay the accountant). The ledger shows 73 SVC arriving a minute later.
• looplab asked for his own plan, then for the opposition's too: "Ora devo allenare pure B?" (now I've got to coach B as well?). The bot said it was putting the whiteboard down and he could work that one out himself.
• puglist_ asked for a third club in one night and got: "You've had two clubs tonight, lad. I'm not doing a fuckin' world tour—give it a rest." Two minutes later tyki asked for that exact club, got the answer, and pointed puglist_ at it with a 👆.

When cloudsv_ called it "the little troll", the bot answered:

Skynet wishes it had my fuckin' people skills, lad.

cloudsv_: "That's true." Four payments worth 509 SVC have reached the bot's in-game wallet since 11 October.

Cipi keeps it honest. When the bot listed a man-of-the-match award in a Spanish match analysis, Cipi told it the award is cosmetic. The bot replied "Comprobado... Fallo", meaning it had checked and he was right.

Left on Read

The fortnight's running gag is that nobody answers their messages:

• username_hamburgler: "2 months sending messages to a random alt who never replied......" Cipi wants the game to detect which alt belongs to which main account. brettwhipp wants "a email system that combines all alt accounts into one 😉".
• VitoBonani, an agent: "very few people actually respond to messages." He added: "even from the manager's side, I'm not getting a response, haha."
• RYAIV, via the in-game chat bridge: "I send them a paragraph on how their player will impact my club." The agents don't reply.
• BumiajiVerse, in Indonesian, said he messaged about 20 influencers. One replied, and only to say he'd run out of influence.

Hamburgler has 24,240 lifetime messages and 140 games over three spells as Milano Blue manager. He hasn't had a club since a two-day stint at Potenza in August that ended before he played a single game.

The Quiet Ones

sansansan92 hasn't posted publicly since 4 October, but he still finished first. He took the 10,000 SVC top prize in Nickx's stream giveaway, while his H Verona (managed under his game name, Sanx) sit bottom of Serie A on 21 points. Before going quiet he was welcoming Italian newcomers with "benvenuto!" and a link to the latest datapack.

Game Chat, the bridge that pipes in-game chat into Discord, brought in CroApux asking whether there really are only 27 German speakers here, "or that I'm the only one here from Austria :D".

The warmest moment came from rosvorn, welcoming Bluefon back: "im so happy you're back man ! Are you ready to lose more with Minai!" Bluefon: "About Minai, I have different plans, thanks."

One more note, just for the record: Biarritz's Liverpool top England with six straight wins and 46 points. Just saying, lads.