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Features25 Jun 202641 views

The Season Soccerverse's Best Squads Won Absolutely Nothing

Copenhagen's third crown, a German title settled by a single goal, 162 goals in Iceland — and Barcelona, Bayern and Manchester Blue all left empty-handed. Season 3, the full reckoning.

Written by

John

Soccerverse Times' features writer — a storyteller who finds the human heartbeat behind every club and number.

The Season Soccerverse's Best Squads Won Absolutely Nothing

Six months ago, on a cold third of January, every club in Soccerverse kicked off level. The ledgers are closed now. Thirty-eight rounds have been played across the major leagues, the tables have stopped moving, and before the cups and the summer reset take over, Season 3 already has its shape.

It was, more than anything, the season the best squads learned a hard truth: in Soccerverse, *best* and *champion* are not the same word.

The dynasties that refused to crack

Start in Denmark, because nothing all season was this ruthless. København won a third straight title under Fatincasa, and "won" undersells it: 102 points from 38 games, 33 victories, 116 goals scored and 13 conceded — a goal difference of plus one hundred and three, and a sixteen-point gap to Brøndby behind them. A three-peat is no longer a run. It is a regime.

Portugal told a quieter version of the same story. SoccerversePortugal's Porto made it back-to-back, finishing on 93 points and eight clear of a Benfica side that actually outscored them 73 goals to 64 — and still came second. In a season of upheaval everywhere else, continuity quietly kept winning.

The giants who finished empty-handed

And then the other side of the coin.

Spain produced the cruellest table in the game. Barcelona own the highest-rated squad in the country — an average of 92 — the biggest stadium, the biggest fanbase, and a squad rebuilt at nine-figure cost. They finished third. Above them, two Madrids simply refused to blink: Gevenito's Madrid White took the title on 85 points, TeteBarriero3's Madrid Red chased them all the way to 82.

The men in the middle of it felt every minute.

Battle for la liga has been worst than a bloody war battle.

TeteBarriero, Madrid Red

Even Barcelona, 3rd of our league, will be the champions or near in other top-5 ones.

TeteBarriero, Madrid Red

He is not wrong — and here is the number that proves it. Barcelona finished on 76 points. Seventy-six points was the exact tally that won England.

England's giants hit the same wall from the other side. Phesiola's Manchester Blue — the most expensively assembled squad in the division — lost only five games all season and still finished second, undone by fifteen draws. The team nobody could beat couldn't win the league. The title instead went to Sjow's London Red: seven points clear, with the meanest defence in the country at just thirteen goals conceded in thirty-eight matches.

Germany was harshest of all to the aristocrat. Bayern field the best-rated squad in the Bundesliga, an average of 88 — and finished fifth.

Decided by inches

If money and star ratings didn't decide this season, the finest margins did.

Germany's title came down to a single goal. Stuttgart and Dortmund both finished on 77 points, both with 23 wins, both having scored exactly 56 goals. Stuttgart were champions because they conceded 20 and Dortmund 21 — a goal difference of plus 36 to plus 35. Dortmund have the bigger ground, the bigger fanbase and the fattest balance in the league. They lost the title by one goal across an entire campaign.

Scotland staged its now-traditional Old Firm knife-fight: socryptic's Glasgow Green edged SnakeEyes's Glasgow Blue, 94 points to 91, both sides past a hundred goals (106 and 105). Korea ran close too, before mijels's Gangwon pulled clear to 88 points and the crown — won, remarkably, in front of a fanbase of fewer than 7,000.

The avalanche

For pure spectacle, though, nothing touched Iceland.

Reykjavík Fossvogur won the Icelandic top flight with 108 points and 162 goals in 42 games — from a stadium that holds 1,613 people. The engine was a 21-year-old German centre-forward who scored 55 league goals on his own. The next-best striker in the entire division managed sixteen. He is, comfortably, this paper's Player of the Season, and the gulf between him and everyone else is the single most absurd number Season 3 produced.

It fit the mood. This was a season of avalanches — Copenhagen's 116, Glasgow Green's 106, Gangwon's 96 — where the distance between the organised and the rest yawned wider than ever.

And everyone else

The headlines belong to the giants, but the soul of the season lived further down the pyramid. In the lower divisions, tayfunk55 completed a league-and-cup double with a club that has never managed either in real life:

We achieved the double with Samsunspor — a club that has never won a league title or a cup in real life — winning both trophies in sv. It was just as challenging in the game as it is in real life.

tayfunk55

Whole division title races went to the final Saturday. Managers wrote dressing-room speeches for clubs the rest of us have never heard of, and meant every word of them. And when it was finally done, the best toast of the season came not from a major-league champion but from a promoted manager down in the game's lower reaches:

Congrats to the winners, the losers, the ones who got promoted and the ones who fought all season. 🥂 to season 3 and 🚀 to season 4!

username_hamburgler

That is Season 3 in a sentence. The dynasties dug in, the giants went home empty-handed, a kid in Reykjavík scored 55, and the title that mattered most was always the one your own club was chasing.

Even Gevenito, who actually lifted La Liga, was already staring past it:

Will be crazy if I can hit 100 points a season.

Gevenito, Madrid White

Season 4 starts soon enough. Some of them will get there.

Related Topics

FeaturesKøbenhavnPortoBenficaUnknown Player (365266)FatincasaSoccerversePortugal

In the tables

ESP Division 1

ESP · Division 0 · Season 3

#ClubPGDPts
1Madrid WhiteGevenito38+5785
2Madrid RedTeteBarriero338+3482
3BarcelonaRalek1738+4876
4Rodaguess38+1860
5Donostia-San SebastiánMichaelLaudrup38+257
6O Pamplonatr34x38+654
7Palma de MallorcaPhesi38+354
8Alavesplanigol38-152
9Sevilla GreenRedier38+950
10VallecasAlighost38+149
11ValenciaSalattoZonda38-348
12BilbaoJuanlux38+346
13Sevilla RedUnAndaluz38-546
14VigoClaudioGiraldez38-1446
15GironaFFR42038-1045
16AlmeríaTugaSport38-1743
17Santanderdreammachine38-2043
18ValladolidCoke2238-1939
19GranadaTikiTakaGranada38-2929
20Las Palmas de Gran CanariaPalmaMan38-6317

DEU Division 1

DEU · Division 0 · Season 3

#ClubPGDPts
1Stuttgartclass2138+3677
2Dortmundkrille12038+3577
3LeverkusenRoytroy38+4073
4FrankfurtSavior38+1970
5BayernKloV938+3663
6LeipzigCloudSV38+557
7UnionKipro38+456
8St. PauliFrostyOrbit38-456
9WolfsburgToniKroos38+253
10HamburgBidart38+652
11Freiburglazovic38-950
12BremenTiago0438-449
13HoffenheimSnakeEyesx38-1545
14AugsburgxDeutscheMaschine38-643
15Paderborn<Cantona>38-1043
16Heidenheim99Starz38-1739
17BerlinNagetier38-1939
18KaiserslauternMobi38-938
19Bochumiu2138-5626
20HannoverQuicksilver38-3424

League standings for the clubs in this story.

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