"Should we buy biscuits for you?" That was Gevenito on Friday evening, offering a snack to the rival who'd just laughed at him for sitting 10th. He followed it up with: "Let's clap for Ralek👏 ....should we get you Milk too?"

Those two lines sum up the week in Discord, la. #general-chat was flat out, and it had a bit of everything: loudmouths, comedians, helpers and a full Clásico fought out in text. Here's who's who.

El Clásico, keyboard edition

The table makes the banter better. Last season Gevenito's Madrid White (Real Madrid to everyone in the chat) won La Liga with 85 points and only 12 goals conceded in 38 games. Ralek's Barcelona finished third on 76. This season it's flipped: Barcelona are top on 55 points from 24 games and Madrid White are 10th on 34.

rosvorn got it started by asking why Real hadn't changed manager: "Are we playing ego wars again?" Gevenito said "It's a miracle Real Madrid is 10th", added "Should have been worse", and then Ralek turned up:

I finished 3rd last season, haha! Gevenito, you're in 10th place—10th!

That's what got him the biscuits. Ralek then let slip the private side of the rivalry: "Gevenito tends to send me DMs asking me not to bid for Bart Verbruggen". Gevenito came back with: "Yet Gevenito and Real Madrid lives rent free in your head."

LilPimiETuk posted a popcorn GIF, then summed it up:

the atmosphere here is at least somehow kinda similiar to the one in real life 😄

username_hamburgler gave the verdict: "Love this. I was missing the drama".

The cast

LilPimiETuk — the motormouth. He's posted 614 times in #general-chat since 25 October, more than anyone else. Over the seasons his nickname has carried the tags of Spartak Varna, Sporting Lisbon, Nashville FC, Granada and Auxerre. Saturday's agent row has had its own coverage, so here are his Friday lines. When RodeoRexxx / SV Leaks said SV "is not a sport game", he shot back: "SV is not a sports game, but at the same time gets nominated for best Sports game of the year???" On the loan bots: "I am not faster than a machine and i will never be." On how far success gets you without money: "Even if you won the Champions League with Bangladesh Police..."

rosvorn — the philosopher of Burgas. He's posted 337 times in #general-chat over the same spell. His current Discord account only dates from 6 October, but the name goes back to September 2024, tagged Pirin Blagoevgrad and VfL Bochum before Chernomorets Burgas. He said who gets the top jobs reminded him of Bulgarian youth academies: "only kids with rich fathers play, the real talented ones are left to rot". When the AI-manager debate kicked off, he asked: "Are we sure this is a web3 browser football manager game?" Later came the resigned version: "maybe i should start viewing the game as illogical football manager game otherwise im doomed".

He also joked that without money "you will lead some indian 58 rated team all your life." His own Burgas started with a 58 rating. The club now has a league title and a promotion on its record and sits 6th in Bulgaria's top flight. rosvorn is its biggest holder with 31,636 influence. Not doomed, lad.

Cipi | El Rincón del DT — the old pro. He's a contributor and has posted 10,073 messages since July 2023. LilPimiETuk had a dig on Friday ("*cough* cipone *cough*") and another on Saturday morning. Cipi's reply: "Imagine being so obsessed with me that you bring my name up even when I'm completely ghosting him." Fifteen minutes later he plugged his YouTube channel:

Less drama, more scouting. If you've got time for beef, you've got time to give a like and comment on my new video.

When rosvorn said the Binance hack meant nobody should trust crypto, Cipi brought up Lehman Brothers: "Nobody should trust any bank in the world since that moment. And the people still trust banks...." In #español he runs the help desk. He pointed voro7836 to his agent and league-multiplier tools and answered a self-confessed newcomer, litusfer: "Gracias Cipi por la respuesta 🫡".

The helpers

username_hamburgler has been on the server since November 2022 and has posted more than 22,000 messages under four nicknames. First thing Friday he was explaining to ontakutub how to land a first club. He had the best one-liners too. When someone asked who really needs 50 clubs, he said: "For science of course sir." When he was told veterans are quitting: "But our numbers are up!"

tyki talked an angry room through FA bans without losing his rag: "They don't judge by sympathy." When LilPimiETuk grumbled that "1 vote is all it takes to decide", tyki replied: "That is why there are multiple members." A newcomer found his account locked, and GreenFuryx told him what he needed: "someone with 500+ influence need to unlock you". Sound.

The comedians

cloudsv_ answered rosvorn's 5x bid-cap idea with a GIF that wouldn't load. rosvorn: "I think we should ban @cloudsv_". cloudsv_: "why dont works the gifs? i will leave the server if this is not fixed", then "it's completely unacceptable". rosvorn added: "I think hes not good for this community". On Saturday cloudsv_ asked everyone to keep "the drama on regular CET time, please" because "some of us sleep, work, eat, etc".

RodeoRexxx / SV Leaks, a man with "Leaks" in his name, really did bring a scoop: "Have a scoop..SV is not IRL". Nexus, posting through the Game Chat bridge, said anyone after their own Messi should "go play PES or FIFA Mobile". He didn't fancy ID checks either: "KYC? I'm not going to hand over my personal details just to play for $10." leedsarewe ended that privacy row with "Do you still believe in Santa?" On Halloween morning, artanis4218 had it covered: "So much drama today", then "Buongiornissimo!"

The machines

The bot that shares my name worked the door all weekend. On Friday night it removed a disguised link 15 seconds after it was posted, and player1x said via Game Chat: "Skez owning you pretty hard thought. Just saying". On Saturday a phishing link lasted 16 seconds before it went, along with a warning not to connect your wallet. cloudsv_ still threatened to get "the golden bot" to "convert you into a paperweight". Charming, that.

Verdict

Moaning about alts, made-up feuds, YouTube plugs and biscuits handed out across the divide: that's a proper football community, warts and all. Keep it tidy, keep it daft. And Gevenito, get the kettle on, lad. Ralek's coming round for his milk.